with your own penis?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
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So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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