That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
