Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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