i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
