Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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