i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
