He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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