She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
