It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
