that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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