If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just want to make out with him forever
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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