Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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