hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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