Me too!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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