I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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