Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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