Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
