i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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