I don't usually arrange sex via text message
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I wear drunk well.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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