Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
