It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
