Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
