I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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