Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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