Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
