He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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