Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
