I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
