quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Life is so much better after having sex.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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