I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
