you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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