I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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