hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
