Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wish they made helmets for livers.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
NoShamevember. You game?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
