I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
