it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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