Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
