I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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