don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
