I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
