omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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