Im at strip club and am horny
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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