What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
