does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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