I love black thongs
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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