I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
