And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
