So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
