he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize