You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
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just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
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Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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