just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
wat bout pragnant strippers??
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
