It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize