meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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