...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
