ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
