so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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