Define "chronic" masturbator.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He passed out mid-signature
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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